Sketching and rambling.

I knoooowwww I just posted a hugeass sketchdump on deviantart, but I don't feel much like talking about it right now. Maybe tomorrow if I have energy after work. I've been under the weather for the past couple of weeks and it's been kind of hard to muster up the attitude to work on art. Everything I'm doing seems so meaningless and contrived. I don't think I'll have any future as an artist and looking at my paltry little scribbles makes me so upset sometimes I can't even touch my sketchbook.

I just need to get out of my head. I think I spend too much time alone. Today I took a nice long walk and after a long sit in Starbucks, and I managed to get something out. It's part of the sketchdump, but here's a better picture of the entire page, with some scribbly process notes.

I don't usually draw animals or dragons or whatever, but I had a lot of fun with this one, even if some of my anatomy is obviously invented. 8D; Maybe what I need to do is draw creatures and scenery instead of all my usual effeminate elves. It's a matter of keeping my eyes and ears open and maintaining a willingness to learn new things.

Sometimes you have to fight a little harder to believe in yourself, and I don't always succeed in that, but it doesn't help to feed the negativity. Sometimes, when you feel your worst, you have to paint on the biggest and brightest smile you can and fight until you can't fight any more. Nobody can make you feel shitty without your permission, and if you're the person who gives you the most grief, you have to kick your own ass. That, at least for me, is the biggest obstacle in my life.

Do your best. I'll keep trying every day, even when I don't feel like I have anything to give to this world.

I'll post something happier in a day or so.