Duh Dammit. :U

I make it a habit to always get a scan of my finished sketches because I'm terrified I'll mess them up. Which I totally just did.

I know the quality isn't super fantastic, but the lines were actually quite light, so I had to fudge about with the contrast a bit. Anyway, I feel like I should have left it alone, because it's quite nice on it's own, but for some reason, even though I had this feeling I would mess it all up, I decided to take my inks to it anyway.

Blech. I don't know, I feel like the balance has suffered somewhat from the coloring. I had some issues with my new waterbrush where it would keep blotting the paper and spreading around the ink either too thinly or darkly, and it just didn't sync up to the image I was hoping to achieve in my mind. Also, I like how I just spent a lot of money on markers at Sakuracon, and the first thing I create post-con is with my inks instead. Wah-Wahhhhh. Still clipping together a sketchfile to show you all the scribblings and such I've been working on, and maybe I'll post that when I'm not distracted by all the shameful Vocaloid doujinshi and gay vampire comics I bought.

WOOPS.

I swear I'll try to sleep after this.

You know, I seriously wonder why I seem to create more interesting works when my brain starts to fizzle out. I have been sleeping poorly, even for me, as of late, and I spend hours contending with the frantic misfirings of my brain and sometimes I get some cool stuff out of it. Other times, it's just pages of the word "FUCK" scribbled next to stick figures doing gymnastics.

45 minutes. Ink, gel pen, cartoons, and pseudonightmares. Maybe it's my compromised sense of fuck-giving after so many hours awake that allows me to simply scribble without an agenda. Maybe it's my habit of looping songs. Maybe I just really like to draw Canta in various stages of gender neutrality and exploration.

In any case, I need to try and sleep before I get stuck at my desk and start to paint again.

Finished Raphael and some kissy scribbles.

Raphael belongs to Yuki, who can be found at http://lustredesquelettes.blogspot.com/ .  I love Raphael to itty bitty bits, but I have a hell of a time drawing him.  For a full color mixed media piece, I don't feel like this took too much time, but I might be underestimating it. When I start working on something, whether it's artwork or a task of some sort, I have the tendency to become very focused and can work at it for long periods of time.  Fortuitously, my order from Jetpens came in with my new pilot choose pens ( gold and white ) and some various other supplies, so I went a little wild with them! I'll probably do a materials post tomorrow once my holbein ink comes in, or maybe I'll do an entire post on inks. Part of the joy in creating artwork for me is learning new ways to use tools and exploring new mediums, so I think the things I learn might be nice to share.

I wasn't really planning this picture, really. I was using this page in my sketchbook as a blotting page to clean my texture stamps, and I got a little bored and started fiddling with a paintbrush. I decided I liked the background and sketched a bit onto it, and the sketch developed into Raphael. I've been listening to a lot of ambient electronic music lately by an artist called Burial, and I think I blame Archangel for how this picture came out. Anyway, I was trying to keep the end result a little unfinished looking, but I think I got a little too meticulous in blending and sort of destroyed that tentative balance. It's alright though, because I kind of like the result.

What can I say, cuddly dudes make me happy. Yuki pointed out that I make Lucifer more muscular every time I draw him, and she's totally right. Canta still looks like a chick, but he always looks like a chick. He's gender neutral so it's awwwwright. You might be able to see some of the thumbnails on the back of the page for a holiday fluff story I'm working on, but I haven't even started to draw it yet. I'm sort of waiting for a program I scored off of ebay to come in before I get on with it.

On that note, I am going to finish my grapefruit and start on some ATCs.

Sketching and rambling.

I knoooowwww I just posted a hugeass sketchdump on deviantart, but I don't feel much like talking about it right now. Maybe tomorrow if I have energy after work. I've been under the weather for the past couple of weeks and it's been kind of hard to muster up the attitude to work on art. Everything I'm doing seems so meaningless and contrived. I don't think I'll have any future as an artist and looking at my paltry little scribbles makes me so upset sometimes I can't even touch my sketchbook.

I just need to get out of my head. I think I spend too much time alone. Today I took a nice long walk and after a long sit in Starbucks, and I managed to get something out. It's part of the sketchdump, but here's a better picture of the entire page, with some scribbly process notes.

I don't usually draw animals or dragons or whatever, but I had a lot of fun with this one, even if some of my anatomy is obviously invented. 8D; Maybe what I need to do is draw creatures and scenery instead of all my usual effeminate elves. It's a matter of keeping my eyes and ears open and maintaining a willingness to learn new things.

Sometimes you have to fight a little harder to believe in yourself, and I don't always succeed in that, but it doesn't help to feed the negativity. Sometimes, when you feel your worst, you have to paint on the biggest and brightest smile you can and fight until you can't fight any more. Nobody can make you feel shitty without your permission, and if you're the person who gives you the most grief, you have to kick your own ass. That, at least for me, is the biggest obstacle in my life.

Do your best. I'll keep trying every day, even when I don't feel like I have anything to give to this world.

I'll post something happier in a day or so.

Halloweening and a NSFW sketch.

I started this a week ago after a drawing party at a local cafe, but I'm just now finishing it because I had to actually get off my ass and color. The initial drawing itself took maybe...two hours to complete, the lining took a million years, and the coloring took just a little bit longer than that. As usual, I used mixed media including but not limited to: Copic, Neopiko, walnut ink, waterbrush, purple bleedy gel pens, prismacolor pencils, aquamonolith, etc etc etc.

I have other halloween type pictures planned, but I might not get them done in a timely manner because I am in the process of putting together a costume. ;w; I have a few days to construct a hat and tease out one of my wigs to holy hell, not to mention all the prosthetic doctoring I have to do. So busy! I also have a butt-ton of sketches to share, even though I don't have much time to scan right now. So here's some porn, as promised.

Haha. So this is the unedited version of a sketchpage full of Adonis. I posted the colored portrait on DA, so...sorry if you've seen it before. Side note: It is annoyingly difficult to find reference pictures of people making out with shoes on the internet. D: So I had to take a picture of myself and work from there.  Hurrrr.

Firefly Page 2

Heyyy, page 2. I'm getting a little better and a little faster at this toning business, but it still takes me a long time to come up with something I can consider a complete image. There will eventually be some dialogue, but I like to keep talking to a minimum during emotional scenes. I'm just going to say that elven fireflies are like willowisps and create a lot of light that kind of trails behind them in a magic-y sort of way.

Hur. Onwards!

Firefly Page 1

This is the first page of a little interlude I'm working on, both as a way to get better at toning shit in photoshop, and as a way of jumping into comics again. There are a lot of things I'm not particularly happy with on this page, but I'll just leave it as it is for now.

I did learn some stuff in the process though, about how to create your own tones in photoshop, which is nice because I don't like to use brushes made by other people, unless they're really excellent ones that I wouldn't be able to make myself. =w=

I started with pencil and pen lines on comic manuscript paper, then scanned it in for some photoshop loving. After locking down the lines and setting the layer to multiply, I kind of flew at it by the seat of my pants, as I tend to do with most things. It makes for a lot of mistakes and frustration, but it was a good learning experience, and I am sure that my pages following this one will be a lot better. :D

Derping about and HOLY SHIT I FINISHED SOMETHING.

For anybody interested, this is generally what I look like.

Been on a roll drawing lately. Most of it is not really worth sharing because it's just thumbnails and such, but I sort of finished this thing.

I have this bad habit of trying to create decent finished works in sketchbooks. >_>;;; I have so many canvases and proper boards and whatnot hanging around, but naturally, most of my finished works end up in sketchbooks. Herp. I'm sort of okay with how this came out, but I am definitely NOT okay with how often Canta changes his clothes. Once I get to his chapter in the comic, it's going to be hell on my hands. There is a lot of mixed media going on here, and I am feeling a bit too lazy to list everything right now, haha.

Too much BL. XC

Yeah. I needed a new sketchbook like a hole in the head, BUT I BOUGHT ONE ANYWAY.

And I christened it with some naked making out with Lucifer and Canta. Obviously this is still very much a WIP.  Oh, also, this is the worst thing I have ever drawn.

Canta uses his shapeshifting know-how to mimic Gabriel. Not a very good idea unless you like getting on the bad side of a sorcerer with a napoleon complex.

Canta scribble

Angry sketch. Might tune it more. :U

Toxic Cute

Materials: Wood panel 6 x 12, acrylic paints, ink, thick black marker, ballpoint pen, watercolor ink, gel pen, watercolor pencils.